Twists and Turns
Welcome! My heart is warmed that you are here. I'd like to share with you a little about how All Is Well-Being came to be in its current form.
In 2019 I was in the middle of starting my own holistic wellness coaching practice. I was having a blast and really doing soul work—what I felt called to do. I was happier and healthier than I think I have ever been in my life.
And then I got (surprise) pregnant.
Pregnancy was beyond difficult for me. We had tried to get pregnant and then accepted that this wasn’t happening for us and made other plans. I was terrified. I struggled deeply with perinatal depression and anxiety, and my business venture was put on pause. It really hit me hard. Unfortunately, postpartum was no picnic. The depression and anxiety continued and, in some ways, intensified. Jungian analysts liken the journey of becoming a mother to descending to the bottom of a well. And that’s where I was. When Rowan was 6 months old, I reached out for help (I had seen a therapist until close to delivery so I had support during pregnancy).
With a lot of soul searching/churning, tears (so. many. tears.), honesty, and hard work, I started finding that connection to myself and the outside world again when Rowan was around 8 months old. I started to feel hopeful for the future; started to climb out of the well. And I started to feel a stir to return to helping others. I still had work to do though, and it involved a searching and finding of myself that would allow me to approach the world and my work with an open heart and a more balanced center. I still needed intention around the connection to myself and my body. I needed to come home. Or hell, find it.
Finding and coming home to myself has had a new meaning since carrying a child and becoming a mother. I had to confront the uncomfortable but necessary realization that, in fact, I may have never actually been home in my body before. Not fully. I visited, stayed for tea, and then got the F out of there most of the time. Something in the connection has been lacking.
Maybe I could consider this vessel a whole new body (in a way) after this transformational experience, and I have had to find my way TO IT instead of finding a way BACK home to something that was no longer there…maybe.
Regardless, it was pushing me to something greater.
Ultimately, this hasn’t just been a journey to and through a new physical body. Just as countless other birthing persons before me, I am not the same in many ways. I feel my emotions differently, my perspective has shifted, the way I move through the world has been altered.
I have realized that so much of my suffering during pregnancy and postpartum was caused by a clinging to what was no longer (isn’t it usually?).
Finding a way to embrace and celebrate my newness has been paramount in finding peace and settling—into my body and into my new life.
It’s not a linear process, it’s not perfect, but with support around gaining clarity and the space to grieve, there has been a lot of progress.
Before motherhood I had tried hard to be present in my body, feel connected to its intuitive wisdom and made attempts through multiple modalities to do so. I made strides. I was there at times. But ultimately something was blocking me from being able to drop into my body in a way that allowed me to harness its power and feel comfortable enough to hang out there and not be so quick to distance and distract.
Ultimately I think this had an impact on birthing Rowan. But that’s for another day.
Right before I got pregnant, I had a transformative experience that helped me identify this internal block I’ve been operating with for many years. I could see it, a wall inside of me between my true essence and what I had access to and showed the world. It was made of dirt, permeable, impermanent, but solid.
After having Rowan, I was often experiencing my emotions in a really powerful way (holy hormones, am I right?). But when it came to the expression of them, it felt like they were on the other side of this wall, oozing through the mud, seeping slowly and painfully out as the hours of the days crept by.
And it just hurt.
So I realized where I needed to focus my work, and it was on dismantling this block that has been holding me back in so many areas of my life. It affects my ability to emote authentically and fully, my intuition and my confidence. It was developed for a reason, many years ago. And it does not serve me anymore…
So, here I am. Over here raising a human and unblocking, the two most important things for me to do right now.
I am so grateful to have survived what I felt was impossible and come out the other side stronger. I am fortunate to have a support system that never quits. I know not all do. And I know not all survive.
As I have continued to do my work (read: I will ALWAYS be doing my work), something started to reveal itself to me: I was being called back to my initial work in the mental health world. And that was through dance/movement therapy.
It makes so much sense—dismantling my internal blocks, coming home to my body, and being called back to this body/mind/spirit/soul work that helps others connect with their bodies and find their own ways home. Their own ways to and through.
This journey over the past 2 years has led me to develop a program that combines dance/movement therapy and holistic wellness coaching. The focus of the program is to help people feeling stuck, blocked, and disconnected--from their bodies and from their purpose.
Thank you for taking the time to learn a little about how I have journeyed over these past few years to land here in the space, excited to help others and full of hope and wonder for this world and this life. It has been messy and difficult. But I do fully believe we can emerge from darkness, from the bottom of the well, with greater clarity about ourselves and more precious gifts to offer.
You can check out my services page to see what I am currently offering and contact me for a free 30 minute phone consultation to see if working together would be a magical next step in your transformation and healing!
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